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Commitment

The Difference Between “I Want” and “I Will” 

What you learn in this workshop will obviously not help you if you don’t apply it. The degree to which you apply what you learn will largely depend on the degree to which you are committed to sexual purity. The purpose of this section is to understand the absolute importance of commitment in achieving success in sexual purity, and to increase your personal level of commitment. There is a world of difference between the consciousness of “I want it” and “I will.”

The last section was meant to bring a deeper awareness to the reality that the sexual battle is so great that you can’t win if you only just want it, or if you are just going to try to achieve it. Your endeavor has to have a greater level of commitment than that. Of course, this is true in all areas of life, but this is especially true in this area, because here you are challenging the essence of material attraction, the attraction that even great sages fall prey to. I think it is obvious to all of us that we shouldn’t minimize the power of māyā in the form of an attractive woman.

The goal of this section is to become more committed to sexual purity. We will do this by looking at the reasons we should become sexually pure, with the understanding that we will not fully commit to something just because it’s the right thing to do, but we will fully commit when it’s something that we truly want. So, we will look at the wonderful benefits of sexual purity with the goal of increasing our desire to be more sexually pure. We will also discuss the difference between wanting something and being committed to achieving it to help you see where you are on this continuum.

Commitment means to entertain no other possibility than achieving your goal, just as when you make a marriage vow you are meant to eliminate the option of having an intimate relationship with any other woman. As you practice increasing your level of sexual purity, you will realize more and more how your commitment is fundamental to your success. This is because sexual attractions, desires, and impulses are so strong that we can become overwhelmed by them at any time. It is our commitment to sexual purity that keeps us focused on the goal. It gives us the strength we need to remain pure. This commitment is often the only thing that protects us when sexual desire is “out of control.”  It’s not always easy to be controlled, but it’s always necessary. By the strength of your commitment to sexual purity, and your commitment to sādhana, you will be able to succeed.

Let’s look at some of the benefits of sexual purity. According to yogic and Ayurvedic texts, there are enormous benefits to retaining semen. Some of these include:

  • The creation of ojas śakti from retained semen.
  • Good memory
  • Strong determination
  • Health
  • Radiance
  • Power
  • Influence
  • Longevity
  • Lucidity even in old age
  • Liberation

Athletes know the health benefits of celibacy, and they refrain from sex before a game or fight.

Exercise 1Visualize a Life Free of Sexual Attractions 

One way to increase the desire for sexual purity is to visualize what your life would be like without sexual distractions. Imagine for a moment that you see every woman as a mother, you relate to women with tremendous respect, you do not entertain thoughts of enjoying women, you do nothing to impress them, and you are not distracted by their physical beauty.

  1.  Write down the ways in which your life would be better, different, more fulfilling, and happier if you were in this consciousness
  2. Write down the ways in which your emotional/psychological state would be better
  3. Write down how being sexually pure would affect your home life. Write down the ways your marriage or relationship with your partner (or potential/future partner) would be better
  4. Write down ways that being sexually pure would make you a better parent
  5. Write down the ways your spiritual life would be better if sexual attraction were no longer an obstacle for you?

Exercise 2How Sex Affects You

  1. Write down the benefits you have gotten (or get) when you were (or are) sexually pure
  2. Write down the problems (internal or external) you have gotten (or get) when you were (or are) being sexual impure

Exercise 3 – Fasting

Can you learn anything from your experiences with fasting that would apply to your commitment to sexual purity?

In Conclusion 

Write down what you are giving up to satisfy this desire.

 

 

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