The only way you can change your marriage is to change yourself. You’ve got to become the man or woman that anyone would want to be married to. You have to learn what a man/woman wants in a marriage and how to implement relationship habits so that you can offer it consistently.
Are you thinking, “It’s not me that needs to change; it’s my spouse.”
It’s easy to confess your spouse’s sins. And you’re probably correct about what you’re spouse needs to change. But it does no good to be right. And it’s a complete waste of time and energy to focus on your spouse’s problems. There’s nothing you can do about it. The only relevant question is: What’s your fixing?
You had a role in the deterioration of your marriage. I have never seen a marital situation that is caused by one spouse. There’s always dual responsibility. What can you do to improve the situation?
Reflect on your past relationships. Do you see a pattern? Look at your parent’s marriage. Are you recreating the model you saw when you were a child? Have you explored the childhood roots of your relationship habits and how they contributed to your marital circumstances?
Even if your spouse had an affair, you’re partly responsible. That doesn’t mean that it’s your fault and it doesn’t excuse your spouse’s inappropriate behavior, but the question still remains: What was your spouse seeking outside your marriage that was not available within it?
Business people selling e-books (or other such product and services) might be able to take advantage of desperate men and woman searching for a fast solution to their problems. But these quick-fix techniques never work. In fact, they make matters worse! Why? Because you only get one chance at a second chance. Did you hear that? You only get one chance at a second chance. Don’t blow your chance on a quick-fix technique. Begin now the real process of renewing your marriage and start to put into place the building blocks for a healthy lasting marriage.